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Cyber Expert Reviewer:
Reviewed on Dec 7, 2022
Messenger is a free messaging application connected to Facebook, and falls under its parent company Meta. In addition to Facebook and Messenger, Meta owns Instagram and a plethora of other social technology applications. Messenger requires users to create a login or use a current Facebook account, although, it is not essential to have one, and the app can still be used even if they are signed out of Facebook. Creating a Messenger account without having an active Facebook account is possible, although this does require users to enter a valid phone number.
Messenger allows users to message, video call, voice memo, send emojis and gifs, send photos/videos and communicate with each other over other platforms too. There are many ways this application can be made safer for teens, the security and privacy settings can be altered to ensure the restrictions are age-appropriate. For more detailed information on the security and privacy settings, keep reading.
For younger children, Messenger Kids can be a safer alternative, as this application can be set up and monitored through a parent's device.
The app allows users to share their location in a chat or group chat. It gives users the option to share their ‘live location’ for 60 minutes or to send a pin drop with their current location. This feature can be helpful when trying to meet up with friends, but can also be risky for teens or children who may not consider the privacy risks.
By default, Facebook and Facebook Messenger allow friends and people you may know to be able to contact your child. It is therefore recommended that this setting is adjusted to ‘strict filtering’, so only people in their friends list can send them messages. This only applies to accounts connected to an existing Facebook account. This can be done via settings, in the privacy section.
When downloading Messenger, the user is prompted to sync the app with their phone contacts list. This will then give them access to anyone in that list. If you prefer to limit who your child interacts with via the app, you can opt into the “don’t sync” option.
To avoid your child spending too much time on the app or involved in one conversation particularly, you should encourage them to put that group chat or conversation on ‘mute’. When sliding left on a chat, the bell gives you the option to mute the conversation for 15 minutes, 1 hour, 8 hours, 24 hours or until told otherwise. This means that no notifications will pop up on your child’s device and only when they go into the chat, will the messages show up. This is a good way to promote down time and prevent the onset of FOMO - fear of missing out.
Kids can message one another ‘secretly’ via the secret messaging feature. The messages sent via this feature are end-to-end encrypted, which stops third parties from being able to intercept and read your childs' messages. Secret conversations will have a black padlock alongside the person's profile pic in the message thread, making them easy for parents to spot in the app. Reassuringly these conversations can only take place between your child and their Facebook friends and group chats cannot take place. Parents can open the app and see at a glance exactly who their child is having a secret conversation with.
Within the Secret Chat feature is a disappearing component, which allows kids to send self destructing content. Your child can send messages, texts, photos, videos or voice memos. All of these can be timed to disappear anywhere from 5 seconds to 24 hours after your child hits send. This feature may encourage children to send inappropriate messages or behave sneakily, as they know there will be no trail of evidence. Parents should be mindful of this feature and inform their children that anyone can take a screenshot of a “disappearing message” and have this content forever. We also encourage parents to have conversations with their children about what is deemed to be appropriate online behavior, and how our actions online can not only affect us but those around us.
Stories is a highlight reel taken in real time, where users upload photos and videos. These stories appear in a tab at the top of the messenger page and disappear after a 24 hour period. It is important that your child understands that, just like anything they post on social media, these stories will also be able to be viewed by everyone in their friends list. It is crucial that your child is only friends with real life friends and that they do not reveal any personal information in anything they share.
Instagram has a direct message (DM) feature where users on Instagram can connect via messages. This DM feature also allows users on Instagram to send messages to Facebook friends. So if your child has Instagram they can message their Facebook friends. This also means that your child could be receiving messages on their messenger app from Instagram friends. If you are wanting to keep track of who your child is talking to, we recommend you speak to your child about their Instagram account. Remind your child how important it is to only speak to real life friends, and to keep personal information private. To decide whether Instagram is an app you consider appropriate for your child, please head over to the Instagram review.
Messenger Rooms are a video chat feature integrated into the messenger app. Users can create a 'room' by clicking on the movie icon, located in the top left hand side of the app. The room is similar to a messenger group chat with friends, but instead, the room is a video chat with messenger capabilities. The owner of a room can invite anyone they are friends with, but all members of the room don't have to be friends. This can be a problematic feature as it can connect children with people they do not know. Rooms also have a chat feature which shows a rolling text reel of live chat between the rooms members. Members of rooms can also watch videos at the same time as one another. The safest way for kids to use this feature is to only connect with real life friends, and ‘lock’ the room once the chat has begun, which prevents anyone else from joining. The room's creator also has the ability to remove any unwanted guests. Parents can also be reassured to know that if your child has previously blocked someone on Facebook, this person will not be allowed to join a room your child is in. Facebook has a report feature where users can report a room if the content is inappropriate. Unfortunately Facebook can only look through the chat in the room, so any inappropriate behaviour via video will slip through the cracks. We recommend that children use this app in communal areas of the home.
The most suitable messaging app that can be recommended for pre-teens is Messenger Kids. Messenger Kids was developed as a safer space for children (from age 6) to interact with others online before they are old enough to create a Facebook account. The app works by parents setting up profiles for their children in Messenger Kids. The app allows users to video call, message and use filtered, age-appropriate GIFs.
Parents are able to approve contacts for their children to interact with and while they cannot see the content of their children’s messages, they are notified when a conversation is reported as inappropriate by their child. The high level of parental controls available in this app make it a great place for children to start using online messaging. For more detailed information on Messenger Kids, please head to the Messenger Kids app review.
Always be mindful as to what information you are putting out there, especially when it is not reversible and can put you in a vulnerable position. Use the video and photo sending feature appropriately and don’t reveal unnecessary information to other people. The risk also exists that people may screenshot what you send, and can then share it with others.
If someone is harassing you or treating you without respect on the app, you are able to block them. This will prevent them from contacting you again, and you will only be able to message them if you go and unblock them. For information on how to block someone, please see the ‘How To’s’ section below.
You need to remember that it is your responsibility to stay on top of how much time you’re spending on your apps and games. Your parents have most likely spoken to you about cutting down on your screen time too so following these helpful hints will keep you all happy. Take regular breaks, be mindful of how you are feeling while you are on this app. If you feel stressed or tense try to do the following; take a deep breath, don’t start a new game just yet, go find something else to do like chat with a friend and come back to it later.
To get alerts about unrecognized logins:
To choose who can see your story:
To create a custom list:
Tap Save.
Tap either Block Messages and Calls or Block on Facebook.
The Gold Standard: COPPA [Implemented globally, legally enforced only in the U.S.]
California: CCPA
U.K and Europe: GDPR-K
Australia: Online Safety Act 2021