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A parents' guide to online bullying
Our online safety experts' guide to identifying and managing online bullying.
Online bullying is the use of online communication tools to menace, harass, offend or intimidate others. It can range from abusive text messages to impersonations, as well as spreading gossip or rumours and ostracising others online.
The impact of online bullying is serious and, in some cases, can even be life-threatening. Addressing online bullying directly and frequently within our homes is absolutely vital for the wellbeing of our children, and while it’s not always easy, that mustn’t deter us from trying.
Online bullying behaviours often correlate with a child’s first access to social media and games. Negative online behaviours such as online bullying generally become more frequent at around ten years of age and decrease in frequency and intensity from 16 years onwards. 13 and 14-year-olds tend to be most vulnerable to online bullying.
Online bullying has evolved significantly over the years from mean and nasty comments to a greater variety of negative online behaviours. It now includes online activities such as impersonation (setting up an account pretending to be someone else), roasting (which includes teasing others and is often seen in online gaming situations), screenshotting (making copies of someone’s texts without permission), or polling (putting up a survey, for example, ‘Who’s the ugliest girl at our school?’ for others to participate in). Exclusion from online chats and groups is also very common, and has recently been coined ‘cyberostracism.’ Online bullying can occur on any platform, including social media, gaming platforms, general internet websites, and even unexpected places like inside Google documents. As parents, we need to be vigilant and prepared for our children encountering these types of online harms.
Here are our three top insights direct from our leading online safety experts.
01
Research shows us that children are unlikely to tell their parents if they are being bullied online because they fear their response will be to stop them from using technology or a particular platform entirely.
02
Red flags include changes in behaviour, sleep disruption, agitation, or withdrawal. Children often become more fixated on their devices, as they want to know if anyone is making the situation worse or sticking up for them.
03
It seems simple, but because most young people fear that you’re going to overreact or take their technology away, you need to make it clear to your children that this won’t happen if they talk to you and that you’ll help them work through it together.
If your child is being bullied online, here are the steps we recommend you take:
Taking a screenshot of the online bullying content is important ‘evidence’ that will be needed when reporting the incident to the platform or the school/district. In extreme cases, you may also consider taking this evidence to your local police. Ensure in all cases, however, that you do not screenshot, save or share anything that could be considered an intimate image of a young person.
There is a direct correlation between how long an online bullying post exists online and how much distress a child feels due to the length of exposure. It’s essential that the content is removed as soon as possible to decrease the chance of it being shared. To remove online bullying content, you can report it directly to the platform. If the incident is serious, consider reporting it to the Office of the eSafety Commissioner (Australia), Netsafe (New Zealand) or the UK Safer Internet Centre (UK). In some cases, it may also be appropriate to seek assistance from your child's school or local law enforcement. You can find more information about reporting here.
Many children don't tell their parents about online bullying because they fear their parents will interfere and try to 'fix it,' but will end up making things worse. Instead, ask your child what they would like you to do to help them. Doing this will provide a great opportunity for you to find a solution together, by offering options and sharing a conversation about the best course of action to take. It will help your child feel empowered as you’ll be solving the issues 'with' them, not 'for' them.
To stop the online bullying from happening again, it may be a good idea to consider blocking the online bully from accessing your child's profile. Sit with your child and decide how to do this together. All social media and gaming platforms have options to block or restrict engagement from other users; however, in some circumstances, your child may not want to block a particular person, often for social reasons. Refer to Step 3 for help with other solutions and head over to the App and Game Reviews section of the HUB to find step-by-step instructions on how to block or restrict access on a variety of popular apps and games.
If you can't resolve the issue through the steps above, or you feel that a resolution to the situation needs to be escalated, it's a good idea to seek the advice of an appropriate staff member from your child's school or district. Schools and districts are generally a fantastic resource for online bullying information and support. We do not recommend speaking to the parent of the online bully without consulting the school first.
https://reviewhub.io/web/ysafe/parent/reporting-incidents/social-media
How to report online safety issues.
https://reviewhub.io/web/ysafe/parent/blogs-articles/nastiness-online
With a teenager’s social life becoming more and more immersed in the digital world, online conflict between peers is bound to happen.
https://reviewhub.io/web/ysafe/parent/blogs-articles/online-impersonation
Setting up social media accounts for the purpose of maliciously impersonating another is not a new concept.